This month, I will round the bend into my 11th year as a human being living with diabetes. Can we just take a moment and acknowledge that 11 years is a really fucking long time to have or do anything? Yeah. Consider yourself acknowledged, Father Time.
11 years goes by pretty fast when you’re in the most vulnerable, transitional years of your life. College FLIES by. I don’t even remember where I went to school. Jk, yes I do. But barely. On top of college, I’ve had a few boyfriends, a few jobs, a few apartments, several different roommates, I’ve lived in 4 different states, and the world has essentially taught me that all it wants from me is my money and my time.
(Shoutout to ConEd, Time Warner Cable, the US Postal Service, every landlord I’ve ever had [minus my current one, she’s the shit], the MTA, the MBTA, United Healthcare, Walgreens, and JFK airport for stealing a majority of said money and time…)
But what has been the most formative change of all, is my diabetes. Every year has welcomed both positive and negative transitions with my routine, and the technology I’m using to make this whole operation possible. There are years where I don’t remember diabetes even being there. And years where it felt like the only thing I knew. But where I stand right now, is a very new place. I am now TOTALLY out in the open. Public, honest, and constant (big thanks to my CGM who has heard me call him some really mean names. I don’t mean it, I promise. Please don’t be mad.) 11 years ago, my routine was the exact opposite of what it is now. I was covered in small bruises on my ass and arms, and the sound of my insulin pens clicking haunted my dreams. But I would go hours without testing. I wouldn’t talk about having diabetes. I didn’t care about what I ate or drank. Not to mention, I was in honeymoon for almost 4 years after my diagnosis, so I was never forced to make it a priority. I was very fortunate. I never had any scares. But I was totally alone with it all. I knew no one. I felt like I had no one. And I certainly wasn’t comfortable bringing people into it with me.
Hot dang, how that has all changed. Now, I am almost fully bionic. And though the amount of work I have to put into keeping myself up in running feels 10x harder than it used to, there are no more secrets. There is no more guessing. Everything is out on the table. Piles of CGM infusion set trash and all. Ya’ll know the drill. Not to mention, I’m not alone anymore. Which leads me to theme of this year’s diaversary: YOU GUYS!
Writing this blog and getting to know all of you has been truly life changing. I had no idea there were so many people out there who could or would want to be on this journey with me. From all of the people who have emailed, or messaged me on Instagram to tell me I make them laugh, to my family and sexy live-in “burse” (boyfriend nurse, get on board) who hasn’t eased up on his support for one second, it’s been humbling, emotional, and most of all… inspiring to have you all on my team. I never dreamed of walking into a spin studio in NYC, seeing my instructors pump, and walking out with a new role model. I never imagined someone would meet me, hear my name, and light up with recognition because she’s read this blog for years. I’ve never felt stronger. I’ve never felt more motivated to keep our conversation about punching this stupid disease in the face one prick at a time. I know I’m really fortunate. I know I’m really lucky. And I want you to know that YOU GUYS FUCKIN RULE. THANK YOU.
So cheers to you, year 11. I can’t wait to see how many more amazing people you bring my way.