Today, I got the most magical email in the world: “Congratulations. Your order has shipped.”
Dex 2.0 is on his way to my body in all his glory. After just over a month of a sad and unfortunate insurance melt-down, I’ve been CGM-free. It’s been weird. It’s been liberating. It’s been filled with blood sugar mysteries and adventures and fears. There have been days that I’ve felt incredibly limited by my lack of CGM, and others where I’ve felt free. But at the end of the day, after a mental cat and mouse debate, I’ve decided I need my Dex back. And I need him now.
When I first got my Dexcom last fall, I hated it. I’m sure you remember my post…I was begging for mercy and for my body’s surface area back…I even created a campaign to remind myself that I am still the potty-mouthed, fun-loving Libby I was put on this earth to be. But after this brief break, I have learned a few things. So if you’re thinking about getting a Dex, or taking a break from one, here are some insights and thought starters for ya:
- Old Habits Die Hard
Though it was refreshing to feel like I was no longer being hand-held and babysat by a tiny little device, I admittedly fell back into some ooooold habits pretty quickly. Grazing, snacking, and just generally not testing enough were an all-too-easy place to go back to. And no, no major damage was done. In fact, it felt like on average my numbers were better because. But I know myself. When I know I’m not being supervised, I’m like a 12 year old boy that spastically draws all over the walls and ruins at least 4 things that don’t belong to me.
- Surface Area Struggles
At first, I felt like Dex was taking over so much space on my body. Really cramping my style and de-sexy-fying my already too large love handles. But in the past month without him, I haven’t really noticed any difference of him being there or not. It was nice to give my skin a break from the adhesive, but over all…noooo major change in that department. I was anticipating climbing to the top of the nearest tower and yelling, “I’m freeeee!” but…alas, I was never compelled to pursue such dramatics.
- Listen Closely
Having this break forced me back into my body’s natural intuitive tendencies. I could quickly feel again that I was leaning into how I was feeling as opposed to what my Dex arrows were doing. Going back into the Dex, I will bring this insight with me. My body still wins all wars when it comes to the feels and sensing change.
- Where Am I?
Contrary to my previous point, I really missed knowing whether I was rising or falling. There’s only so much I can feel, and before I bolus, it’s insanely helpful to know at least which direction I’m trending. Saves for disasters down the road, ya know?
- I’m Okay.
For 11 years, I’ve been living with this. And for 10 of them, CGM’s didn’t even exist (really). So when I went without it for the last month, at first, I was like a toddler when his mom walks out of the room. I panicked. Thinking I wouldn’t survive a day. But after one night of a very (very) restful, alarm-free night where I went to bed 160 and woke up 98, I remembered…”Oh hell yeah! I know how to do this!”…And that’s the biggest take away from all of this…we’re professional diabetics. Routine change or not, only we know what’s best for us. Technology, diet, exercise, etc., it’s our choice. Taking breaks from technology every now and again is actually a really refreshing way to remind ourselves of how amazing we are at taking care of this disease and ourselves. Royal insurance fuck ups are out of control. But we’re 100% in control of how capable we are at being independent, healthy humanoids. Having a CGM is a frickin’ miracle. But not having it didn’t cripple me. I was okay. And you’ll be ok. And we’ll all be ok no matter what.Boom, that rhymed.Ok, now I’m going to race home and go check my mail and pray to the postal service gods that Dex 2.0 made it to New York safe and sound.