The Journey : a lesson on acceptance part 2 : focusing on yourself

comparison is the thief of joy

and so begins the series of some inspiring women who, at times, lost their sense of physical self.

the following stories speak to the challenge of comparison. to constantly looking to others for a benchmark, a status update, and a measurement of success/beauty. instead, these two realized that listening to themselves and blazing their own trails was exactly what they needed instead. 


when i say crossfit changed my life, that is truly an understatement. to fully understand, we need to go back to the beginning. i was a crazy soccer player about 90% of my life and when college hit and suddenly didn’t have practices five times a week, i had ZERO idea what to do with myself. i started club soccer and practiced twice a week and filled in the other days with “when i felt motivated” gym days. after a couple of years, i was inspired by a friend to get into running.

i hated running, but she had seen some great results and i figured hey, if she can do it, i can do it. i started running about 3-5 miles, 6 days a week and you want to know how many results i saw? zero. about two years later and i was bored and frustrated. then i tried swimming.  then i became a pool loving gym rat because i didn’t know what else to do. i was always in the gym either swimming, taking spin classes or spending my usual saturday going to Zumba class and then making my way to Bagel World for a  scooped out (they leave just the crust part for you) whole-wheat bagel with light cream cheese.

i was on a mission to no-longer be the “fat-friend.” i lacked confidence and i constantly felt like the side-kick to my friends. i stepped on the scale constantly and i even joined weight watchers in the hopes of dropping those final 15 pounds.

eventually, i met a crossfitter – i am convinced he saw a future crossfitter in me- and he dragged me to first class. i remember what the workout was and it kicked my “i thought i was fit” ass. now, let’s flash forward two years and crossfit has changed my life. i am no longer afraid of what i used to call “man-town” in the gym (the dumbells and squat racks), i take pride in the fact that my thighs touch because it means i can squat more and i am no longer the “fat-friend” but the strong friend. i now feel like i am using my athletic body-type for its purpose. i haven’t stepped on a scale in ages and to those guys who don’t want to talk to me in bar, it doesn’t bring me down because i probably have a higher deadlift than you anyway.

jackie is a 24 – year-old masshole. she’s the best. she works with me at Communispace and we also went to Elon together. how neat is that? jackie is really quirky and wears an american flag scarf all the time. she has in incredible paleo recipe/food blog that will make you drool for eggs and ‘sghetti squash. go look at it:


(disclaimer: this is me writing on behalf of muzzy because she is a little twerp and won’t write about her self. this is me pretending to be her. she told me to do this, btdubs.)

my girlfriends were all running half marathons and marathons and talking non-stop about how “running was their everything” and that, “it was so amazing to experience the progression of more miles”, or, “running is a mental escape for me. i need it.” every time it was brought up, i’d sit there thinking, “am i crazy? i hate running. i can’t do it. it hurts me so, so much and my lungs burn no matter what. am i weak? am i inadequate?” i’d get all in my head, loopy, and down on myself. i’ve never been a runner, nor will i ever be. but for some reason, seeing all my friends get really into running while i just…didn’t, was a really tough pill to swallow.

all the while, i had been experiencing some weird aches and pains and scary, “i’m too young to hurt like this” stuff. like, stuff that kept me up at night, was impacting my day-to-day, my job, my social life, my boy life, you name it. i was a wreck. so i started taking pilates. after a little bit of a commitment to this new workout world, i suddenly woke up and thought, “woah. i feel amazing.” and that’s when i realized, that after so many years of comparing myself to others and worrying about what they were doing, i had gotten me nowhere. instead, coming to terms with the fact that it’s not about the number on the scale, or the distance i could run, or the gallons i sweat…the priority just needed to be how i felt because no one knows my body better than me.

crispin is a 25 – year -old texas native. she says y’all a lot and her hair is really curly. her first love was jackson hole, wyoming. crispin works as a project manager at a graphic/web design firm in boston, and she is responsible for this amazing “doodle”/artwork in this post. if you’d ever like a kickass custom doodle, hit her up; she’d be happy to make one for you. she’s cool like that. 

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